How many of you who read this have had instances in your life where your NO! meant nothing?
This could be in all manner of instances from the hideousness of rape through to going to your Mum’s and saying no to seconds only for her to pile up your plate and hand it over and out of whatever reason you wade your way through it even though you know you will not be able to move enough to help clean up… or even get behind the steering wheel of your car to go home.
No’s are important.
Standing up for yourself is important.
People who follow a spiritual way of living. You know the one with:
- look to the positives
- don’t dwell on the negative
- acknowledge someone’s pain or story is the reason they are being an unreasonable arsehole
- don’t take things personally when someone shows up as an arsehole, you know because they have their own story…
I’m here today to say, it’s ok to say NO to these things.
Here’s a GREAT analogy… yes I’m available for autographs …. #GARFSNORT
You know when you are at a farm and there’s geese everywhere, and the geese, they come up to you with what looks like a wagging tail. We learn early that a wagging tail means happy right? Except in geese…
This is the analogy of these people in your life who show up wagging their tail by tugging your chain, getting you into a false sense of happiness because they are asking for your help, they are using your profound gift of generosity of giving your time, your intellectual property, your home, your money and when you go to pet them to try and get a bit of loving in return, because they are ‘wagging their tail’ like Mr Goose here… they start attacking.
The thing is though, with some grown-ups, the attack has already started and it’s not as obvious or as scary as Mr Goose. Us humans who believe, through the kindness of our humanness, that could also be described as an incideous disease known as “pickmeitus”, that we are expected to turn the other cheek or whatever means of NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THE SELFISH ARSE in their authenticity… we’ve been conned.
When you say NO to these people in your life. Be it a client, be it a friend, be it family, be it yourself when you are standing there giving and giving and giving only to be used, abused and feeling like you’ve been raped and pillaged… it’s time to say YES to you first.
I’m here to tell you that you are allowed to say NO to people and situations. You have the choice of a HELL NO and slam the door, or you have the choice of repeatedly saying, like you are a broken record and doing the complete opposite of what you would have done when you were saying ‘ok yes’.
Some of these learned behaviours have been with us for YEARS, so they are going to take a little bit of getting used to.
Beware of PICKMEITUS. It’s the thing that shows up when you do the opposite of everything you would ordinarily do, or go into the selling mode of your existence and you promise things you can’t deliver, or more to the point, shouldn’t have to deliver.
Put yourself first. I promise that it is for EVERYONE’S highest and greatest good that you do.
Mantra: “I only attract people into my life who love and accept me for who I am and who honour even exchanges of energy.”
Thanks for a great article, just what I needed to hear.
Sue
Thank you Sue!