Ever been somewhere and some child is screaming or misbehaving or chucking a tanti at whatever level? Are you a woman who has had thoughts of “ugh, what is wrong with you, get control of your child.”
The last couple of days I’ve read a couple of blogs that have inspired me to get this out of my head once and for all.
My relationship with MY children is MY business. The End.
I read a blog yesterday by a man who has struggled with his relationship and lack there of with his mother for years. As it turns out, the gift for him in that negative relationship is unfolding before all of us in his blogs, and his wife and daughters are going to be the huge winners from the relationship he didn’t have with his mum and the awareness it afforded him. If you’d like to read some of Rod’s blogging, then go HERE.
It got my blood racing a bit because of the barrage of memories my brain, or most likely my dead people, decided to flood me with about all the people around me who have opinions on how I should be with my sons. It’s been going on for nearly 10 years now and all I want to scream is BUGGER OFF.
I came from a generation of girls. There was one boy cousin that I grew up with, 11 year age gap and lived a long way away. My first real experience with a boy, well I ended up marrying him. That didn’t end well. That’s another blog titled “Why you should never listen to your parents…because they are lying…”
Needless to say, that set off a pattern of the kinds of men I attracted into my life until my return from England and then marrying my best male friend ever. We have since had sons and it is my belief that they chose me to be their mum so I could give them the greatest possible grounding on how to live in this day and age, how to respect women and how to coexist with the other sex on an even playing field. My son’s will not be looking for a woman that will cook, clean and dish out as soon as the left eyebrow is raised.
The generation before mine have very firm beliefs on what I should have been doing with my sons from the minute they got here. I had to be very open and honest with myself about the kind of mum I was going to be, and made peace with it very early in the picture. Financial restrictions also dictated a couple of things too, so making peace with everything and not living in some self loathing belief that I should have been doing something different was not on the cards.
That still didn’t stop the judgement from all those in my inner circle though…
They are my children, and at the end of the day when you leave my house, they are sleeping under my roof in their beds and not with you, so any opinion you may have is void. I’m the one who wiped their bum, I’m the one who holds their head up if they need to vomit, I’m the one who gives them cuddles when they hurt themselves or wake up from a nightmare.
The judgement from the husband even because there is a thought that I should be a certain way with my son’s because of how his mother was with him when he was young.
It comes from every angle and every degree.
I’ve had a number of people say, didn’t you want a girl too? Nope. God gave me boys and I’m the lucky one. I deserve them. I am honoured they chose me to be their parent.
So…to anyone reading this who has an opinion about someone elses child raring abilities and even has one iota of a thought along the lines of “I wouldn’t be like that if they were mine.”; with all due respect, mind your own business.
Not to jump on the poor me band wagon for too long….women cop a flogging in so many ways, its a wonder we get grumpy sometimes.
We are not living in the 50’s, 60’s or 70’s for that matter, we are living in the age of awareness. Women are finding their voice, having the children, starting the businesses, running a household, trying to acknowledge and unleash their inner Goddess and those women before them, and those men before them and those women around them and those men around them just can’t cop a hint.
BUGGER OFF…. and join the awareness wagon.
Give us a break. Leave us alone. Be grateful that we are doing the best we can with what we have and note with a grand load of kudos that we are trying trying trying so hard to do it all and we still keep walking. We aren’t giving up and our children are not suffering.
They mightn’t be having a childhood like you had or what you would give to your child if you had them… though again, with all due respect…. who cares!!
Our children will grow up empowered, respecting women and if they are girls, themselves, and their place on this planet.
Listen to the Dalai Lama….The World Will Be Saved By The Western Woman…
So please I repeat…. bugger off and let us save it would ya?