So today was the first time in a really long time that I was angry, so angry I had to take deep breaths to calm down. Yes I get angry at the kids or my lovey consistently, but today was different, it was angry at people outside of my immediate circle. People who when I have my judgement hat firmly in place, have a responsibility to others, and when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain they let a number of people down and this time there were children involved.
Fair enough you don’t give a toss about your own kids, and what you are teaching them in team participation, but there are basic rules of engagement when you have to consider others, and it’s called plain old fashioned manners.
Anyway, as I mentioned in my FB post today, I had to make peace with Anger. I’ve been surrounded by spiritual people for a long time now and it’s always about love. Send it love….it’ll fix everything.
Well, today, LOVE, I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to spew forth with a level of venom I’ve only ever dreamed about….don’t do anger usually…hence it coming out in dreams…but today it came out in real life.
So, what did I learn when I left every comfort zone that is Amanda Foy and must be liked by everyone or at least most everyone, that it’s ok to be angry. I learned today that to shut down anger is like shutting down the wrong lane on the Houghton Highway or Coronation Drive.
It’s just dangerous.
As my friend Duncan has been saying for over a week now – Hate Versus Love, not the other way round. You’ve got to face what you hate, and then make peace with it to be able to send love to it. It’s the only way to effectively deal with it, so you don’t have to deal with it again.
So, as I stand up on my honesty platform – I went into hate today big time.
Now that’s a big admission to make by someone who has always stood tall with the “I don’t hate anything”, but today I had to be honest with myself and I did go into hate.
Here’s the thing though – once you are in it, deal with it quickly and let it go.
If that means verbalising your anger, then do it. Just try not to….. really hard not to…. say something that you’ll have to come back later and make up for.
You know like when say, someone you are close to continually leaves important bits of information out that help you plan your life and one day you snap and you make indiscriminate comments about their mother and some derogatory comment about the size of their penis, which is totally not relevant to the initial problem.
Don’t do that.
Stick with the issue at hand, keep it brief, say what you’ve got to say – without malice or venom (which will instantly negate the need for penis comments) and end with something that can be worked on or negotiated like “so what are we going to do about this?”
Once you acknowledge what it is you are dealing with, you can change the make-up of the emotion to something that is akin to love, but most of all it’s not destructive.
When you hold onto Anger or Hate, the only person suffering is you. You are the one who has your vibration in a virtual spasm that cannot release if you hold onto anger and hate. You are making yourself sick.
So, next time you want to spit chips about something, have a look at it – make friends with the hate and Bob’s your Aunty…you’ll be back on the love trail again soon enough.