The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming.
Does this time of year have you jumping with glee or do you start to prepare your emotional cave to get ready for you to hibernate because you have to spend time with family or navigate getting out of having to spend time with family?
I have invited my beautiful Goddess in crime to blog her feelings about this time of year and hope you enjoy her musings to help you ‘calm your tits’ about family so you get to enjoy the festive season too.
Over to you Juli!
So you are the single most disliked, talked about, disapproved, hated, blamed, fingers-pointed-at, shamed and/or criticized person in your family?
And it’s the Holidays.
Kind of takes the Joy, Happiness and Fun right out of the Holidays, huh?
Not a good place to be at all.
And yet, it’s exactly where many people are at.
Family isn’t always fun and games and great food gathered around a table full of laughter.
Some times family is more like being tried in a Court of Law, knowing an early verdict has already been reached and there’s no chance of convincing others of your innocence.
But here’s the thing… and the other side of the coin…
Could it possibly be that you are the most disliked person in your family because they don’t get you?
Can’t understand you?
You fall outside of their norm?
They can’t resonate with you because you are so vastly different then they are?
They just don’t connect with you the way in which they connect with each other?
And, no matter how much you try, they just can’t?
And, if that’s the case, that your family really is that different from you, that they really are in the polar opposite in almost every way category, that they are judging you harshly, hating, blaming, guilting and finger-pointing, bringing up the past at every opportunity, disapproving of your almost every action – and here’s the big question! – would you really want them to resonate with YOU?
Have you thought about what that would have to mean about you, as a person, an individual, if they did suddenly switch everything around and approve of you the way they do each other? Wouldn’t you have to be thinking, saying and doing the same things your family is for that to happen? In order to give your family a reason to approve of you and stop making YOU the black sheep?
And isn’t the fact that you haven’t decided to be “just like” your family the reason they have made you the black sheep so far?
Hasn’t the power to change that, by changing YOUR behavior, been in your hands all the time?
Yet – you haven’t made that choice. No matter how long you have been the outsider in your own family, you haven’t made that choice.
Hmmm… Faithfulness to ourselves, to our own intrinsic way of being, is something that not everyone likes, approves of, understands, appreciates, values or loves.
Sometimes, others HATE it with a passion.
When they see that we will not throw ourselves to the lions, it makes them want to do it for us.
I think this calls for another round of Joe. Raised high in salute to those who continue on being the painful black sheep in their families because to do otherwise would be sacrificing themselves on an alter they didn’t build.
If this has described your life and you want some support with your flock of other black sheep, we’d love to invite you to join us in our secret (aka, no one can see anything unless they are in there) group. It’s a one time investment for as long as you need it to help you get through family times or until you find your heart family that makes your heart sing with joy and the blood family gets happy with a video message from you while you are enjoying yourself. 😉
CLICK HERE TO JOIN US