Why it's important to recognise when the Control Freak appears... - Amanda Foy

Why it’s important to recognise when the Control Freak appears…

So much has happened in my life in the last ten days, it’s hard to get it all out on paper, but in a nutshell these are the broad comments I can stick them under

  • The people who have come into my life
  • The incidents that have occurred in my life
    • what I am capable of achieving with everything landing in a relative ‘heap’
  • The people already in my life
    • how they show who they really are when push comes to shove
    • what happens when vulnerability takes over
    • what happens when you are taken out of your comfort zone
    • what happens when sociopathic behaviour kicks in

All of these things…yes…you guessed it….would make perfect storylines to any Country Music song and it would go to platinum within the first week.  Wish I nu how to ry-eeet muse-ac…

But here’s where I want to put the positive spin on all of this and why the title of today’s blog should be Control Freaks R Us.  There are two reactions to anything that comes your way – FEAR or LOVE.  When you have gone into fear reaction you can do the fight or flight thing, or start to go into the “What if” inner dialogue…make yourself sick…give yourself headaches….a rash….nightmares, scream that loudly at your children that they will be seeing a BodyTalk specialist in 10 years and the emotional link will be back to the screaming incident of 22 April, 2010….

How much of your life have you got control over?  How many people do you have control over? If someone does something outside of what you expect of them, do you find your left eye twitching with one of those nervous, incideous, rip your eyeball out they are so infuriating because you can’t concentrate while your eyelid moves involuntarily as you stare at your computer screen? 

If you are sitting there thinking you have control over everything and everyone, it’s time for you to sit down, grab a squishy pillow and start rocking back and forth in one place and perhaps even dribbling a little for greater effect.  I am here to say to you that you have no control over anything or anyone, and the minute you accept and believe it, and just hand it over to the universe to look after, you will be able to put the pillow down, mop up the dribble and smile….that is after having taken a huge deep breath and said thanks.

That is not to say that you cannot lay down firm intentions for things that you would like in your life, things that you would like for your family and friends.  Thoughts, feelings and actions are important for success and happiness as I’ve read a number of times with all the reading I’ve done in the last two years.  What you have to relax about is:

  • If something doesn’t go to plan, is popping a vein over it going to fix it? No. 
  • If your day has that much in it and you don’t know where to start, is moving into the mind space of ‘why me’ going to fix it? No. 
  • If someone close to you attacks you when you are trying to help them or provide them with support – do you take it personally? No.
  • If a complete stranger treats you like you are the largest inconvenience to their day – do you take it personally and retort with some whitty comment about some village missing their idiot? No.

It says miles of someone who is able to look at that person and go ‘ok, so the world doesn’t revolve around me, something is going on….don’t take it personally’.  If you go into defence mode, then you have entered fear territory.  If you stick with the love option, you can quite quickly acknowledge the person’s pain and stifle any further attack.

Next time you are being handed a bit more than you care for, give yourself five minutes and write down everything you have to be grateful for, read it back to yourself and then relax.  The Universe will take over and help you out.  You are NEVER given anything more than you can handle.  That is really important to remember and you need to repeat it with me….. I AM NEVER GIVEN MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE…. I promise.

1 Comment

  1. Brilliant…you must be in my head right now…I have had THE most trying and depressing weekend and reading your post has somehow made me lighter.
    Thanks so mush Amanda xxx

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