Why its important to ask...."is this mine?" - Amanda Foy

Why its important to ask….”is this mine?”

So recently I had a feeling that my heart was being ripped out of my chest and the pain associated with grief and the loss of what might be was almost debilitating.

For those of you who know me, and or have been reading my blogs for a while, I’m your positive motivational mate who has done all the hard work to ensure that this kind of stuff doesn’t get a look-in in my life.

It’s important for you to know that I COULD do ‘misery guts’ as well as anyone, however I choose not to.  I choose not to, for one second, think of something I don’t have versus what I do.  

With this feeling last week, I was a bit mystified as to what the hell was going on, and even allowed myself a thought of ‘yeah, if I thought about it, I could describe myself as lonely’, and then sat in that, as a thought, for a second.  #NB that thought for me is a shit thought and would have once upon a time put me into a state of depression.  

Good news though, nothing twigged in my body or my brain or energy to say, “yup, this is your shit” because I’m good with my loneliness and have been for YEARS…. So I instantly asked “is this my pain?” and when I asked that, this person who I’ve known for 14 years flashed into my head.


We spoke about it, and then decided that the best way forward, so I could have my heart back, was to do the Hawaiian Ho’Oponopono visualisation technique which would cut all ties between us.

Now, if fear was going to kick in, now would be a good time.  14 years and cutting ties and we still share a loving friendship – holy crap, I better be doing the right thing….

To say that I have been released, provided a freedom I have not experienced in my adult life would be an understatement.

So, if you feel like an emotional bucket of goop, I want to recommend you go and listen to my radio show, which I co-host with Juli DuBois and go through the technique from Episode Eight – you won’t know yourself.

I hardly recognise myself and my friendship is safe as houses.  Let me know how you go with it!


  1. Anonymous

    I saw your post about feeling horride the other day, didnt get to ask if you were ok, glad you are. 😀 For your loneliness.. I hear you!! It took a long time for me to come to terms with loneliness… I realised it is not a place, it is only a state of mind. Im always alone, but never lonely… being grateful for all the beauty of this world filled that loneliness (for me) and made me a better person for it (a little strange, but better) 😉 I like reading your blog, in society it is not often someone will admit to vaunerabilities, and I think your honesty is a treasure for those that stop and read. Thank you Amanda, it is a beautiful world that you are in it.

  2. Oh wow! Thank you so much for your comment, it means a great deal to me that you stopped to share a little bit of your story too. Thank you thank you thank you!

  3. Anonymous

    Hey Amanda…. I love your philosophy on snorting…. I snort a fair bit myself… always knew it was a good thing! 🙂
    I’m just wondering where to find the radio show as I’d be interested in having a listen to episode 8 (despite the fact that I’m generally a very happy and excited person, I figure it’s always good to know strategies in case you need them…), or in case you need to share them with someone else who needs them.
    Thanks for sharing…

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