Why it's best not to take stuff personally - Amanda Foy

Why it’s best not to take stuff personally

Four things happened to me this week…. 


1. I had it out with a Catholic Priest on twitter about beliefs


2. I had a realisation about someone’s capacity to blame and tried not to take it personally and think everything would be ok


3. Had my Android upgrade the facebook app on it, and learned how many and who had unfriended me from facebook over whatever period of time.


4. I decided to search through SEEK to see how much the going rate for a Social Media Manager was in the market place.


You know what I think I might just be that f#cking retard…. four incidents, being a little bit crook with a concrete based head cold for the first time in 7 years, and my life started to look like it was moving into the too hard basket. Hence point number 4.


So the outcomes were:


1. I’m human.  Having had my feelings hurt, I was grateful to have had coffee with the Catholic Priest, who ended up being truly one of the nicest, most interesting people I have ever met. He and I sat like rational grown ups face to face and went through what went down with us on twitter and early in the conversation he said, “listen, essentially, it had absolutely nothing to do with you…” and he explained what brought him to tweet what he did.  


Do you know it made complete sense, and when that information became apparent, it was sooooo easy to take (what I believed was a personal attack at the time) away my grrr bunny about the whole thing and was able to reach a compelling level of compassion and then found common ground in the situation as well, validating said Catholic Priests feelings and reaction. 


In essence… while I called him dude on twitter…. we carried that level of familiarity through and now everything IS completely COOL between us and I truly hope that I have made a quality friend for life.  We spoke for close on 2 hours and could have kept talking the afternoon away if it wasn’t for a wedding rehearsal….the life a Catholic Priest is a busy one.


2.  I’m human.  Having had my feelings hurt, I decided that I would still not take the blame personally, but did decide to put myself first and decided to remove myself from the friendship fully – without malice or distress.  I just know that by even giving any time to that friendship from now on is pointless given the level of blame and inability to take responsibility for their own life.  Not my gig… the end.


3. I’m human.  Having had my feelings hurt, sometimes I forget my own counsel when I say, “that’s your shit, not mine”. I had my feelings hurt around 6 times over when I realised who had unfriended me for reasons I had no idea of. I even sent a PM asking why on one of them I was so dumbfounded, and then 5 minutes later went “pfft….none of my business”.


4. I’m human.  Working my ring out, being that busy and all the responsibilities of being a solo trader offering a service, not a product that everyone wants 100 times a day and has money then and there has been a hard gig.  I have been trying to focus and really step into what I am GREAT at with the social media, and came to a realisation that what I am GREAT at, is not something that a large firm is going to employ me to do as a contractor.  I also realised that I have become the go-to person for sooooo many people.  The same as whenever I’ve been employed by someone.  I listen and learn and retain things. This however is not ideal in a solo traders life where you have to do everything and have to focus and blah blah blah….. anyway…. this point 4 is too be continued.


Point is….I took all of these four points personally and look where it got me.  Sick and into a bit of a pity party.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.


Positives:  


1. I have a great new relationship possibility with someone who is interesting, well travelled, well educated and dedicated to his beliefs…. just like me. Non posso aspettare il prossimo caffè. 


2. I have freed myself and learned that I need to speak up regardless of how someone might react if it’s putting myself first by speaking up.  I do not need to suffer if something is not right for me.


3. The Universe is teaching me that when people leave your life, it’s actually a massive gift and new people will come in who are more interesting, more well travelled, more well educated and more dedicated to their beliefs….


4. It’s helped me take stock of what I want to do with my working life and where I want to put my energies.


NOTE TO THE READER


Your feelings are your feelings.  You are responsible for them, so if they are hurt, it’s because you’ve allowed them to be hurt.  That’s not to say don’t allow it….remember, we are human. 


It’s going to happen.  


The trick is…always, always, always know that there is a story behind everything and anything that comes into your life, and 98% of the time, it’s actually got nothing to do with you… so don’t put yourself in the place I did this week, and tell yourself to stay walking your truth and the hurt will land but slide off pretty quickly.  


Ciao






12 Comments

  1. Oh Amanda, great post. Yes, we are all human, and its funny what we decide to take personally and what we let wash over us! Looking forward to your next insight!!!

  2. LOVE this post Amanda – some lessons for me .. a sooky la la from way back!! Boy we are ALL human – and it is easy to get swept up in other people’s opinions. I’m a shocker for it! Alli x

    • I need to keep “Why I’m a sooky la la” for another blog post. LMAO. Other people’s shit, is always their shit Alli….we just have to keep reminding ourselves of it constantly. Who, in their right mind, wouldn’t love us. Pfft….honestly….they are the retards I say. #GARFSNORT

  3. A very timely post, thank you Amanda. It has been an enlightening couple days in my world, your lessons have helped put perspective onto the wave of thoughts and emotions I’ve been experiencing.

    • Thank you for that barefootbasics! I always hope that when I’m taken to writing something it’s not only for my benefit. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. x

    • LOL Janet??? I’m a social media specialist?

  4. Amanda – nothing wrong with being a Sooky Lala – it means you have a heart:) The two things that have gotten me through similar experiences have been most of Dr Suess’s quotes and a special reminder that “People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. Sometimes for me the last two get blurred – but that’s my expectation – nothing to do with the other person.
    Love reading your posts 🙂 Marina.

    • Thanks for your lovely post Marina. Yes, I agree on the seasons, reasons, lifetime thing. I actually said that on the friendship I had to release – “bugger, it must have been a season one.”

      Have a great week!

  5. Hey Amanda
    Ive just found your blog via your FB page.
    Great post, love your openness and honesty. Always terrific when someone finds their voice and speaks up, it’s somewhat freeing is it not?
    Cheers
    Annette

    • Hi Annette!
      Thank you for stopping by to have a read. I do tend to be a little bit honest here and yes it is freeing. Everytime I post something I have a nanosecond of ‘am I doing the right thing’ then I hit publish and it goes away. In all the posts, I’ve only had a couple of negatives, and it was with the Why Jock Anderson is a tool one – which was going to attract that anyway. Can’t wait for you to read one of the funny ones. 🙂
      Thanks again for stopping by.
      Amanda

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