Why I think I am a good wife... - Amanda Foy

Why I think I am a good wife…

The other day I was enjoying having a giggle at an Alli and Genine blog about Magic Mike the movie. With the men. That have glistening torsos. With tight jeans…


Sorry… I’m back now…. 

I was watching the YouTube of the preview thinking that I’d love to organise a girls night out that involved alcohol and go and watch the movie with them so we could giggle stupidly at the stunning men with their Amerry-can accents doin’ their thang.

Chatting to Alli over fb – as you do when you roll with famous people…. chuh…yeah I know… we were talking about double standards etc.

Well bugger me if my lovey didn’t come home that very day and say he’d been invited to a bucks party.  When he told me the family associated with the bucks party I automatically asked “will they be the kind that do tricks?”  He responded with I’ve got to deposit $50 into the best mans account to go.

It’s been a long time between naked ladies that he hasn’t seen give birth to his offspring as we’ve been married for 12 years… naturally he was going to leap at the chance to go have some fun with the boys.

Here’s where I am a good wife… I have not stopped teasing him about him seeing naked ladies with no pants on.

EVERYTIME he makes some down play in that they are probably just ‘booby girls’ walking around with drink trays.

Yeah, no.

I know the father of the groom. 

Yeah, no.

So today I got a phone call from my loving husband.  He has not had a chance to organise his $50 for the ‘entertainment’ and rang and asked me if I would transfer the money for him.  

This is how excited he is to go… poor love is so close to 50 it’s not funny… he’s given up the chance to take his family to the Gold Coast to see his favourite football team play live.  You know the team that when it’s footy-season they come first, second, third and last.  

“Honey, would you like special cuddles?”

“Are you kidding? The Footy’s on.”

Sigh.

So back to the phone call…”Sure honey… how much was it again. $50? Sure.”

I was going to deposit $49.69 and then thought, they won’t get it.  Then I thought, I’ve got the reference area.  What could I type that will end up on his bank statement AND the best man’s bank statement so when they have to go to the bank for something, like a loan for their new car, or new home, the bank manager will be a woman looking at them like they are animals.

Queue Mutley laugh:

So I thought of the following:

_DIRTYGIRLS
_NAUGHTYGIRLS
_DIRTYOLDMEN

_DRIBBLINGMEN
_IDONTGETSEXOFTEN

But I settled for …STRIPPERS and hit the go button.

So on the day before Father’s Day, my lovey will be having a night out with the boys, have to go to work the next morning and then come home and will not be allowed to TOUCH me for a month until his forgetfulness kicks in and I won’t have to worry about why he wants me to bring him a beer in my undies when he’s watching the finals footy.

So you see… I am a good wife… 

Garfsnort…exit with Mutley laugh…extended version.

14 Comments

    • Sneaky sniggers – what can we get up to this Friday Caitlin?!

  1. Firstly my friend, thanks for the shout out, secondly, you made me wee my pants … just a bit! So many visuals!!! Very funny – as bloody always. And yes, yes, you’re a better wife than I! Alli xxx

    • I LARVE YOU ALLISON. Please remind me to tell you that story one day, but it will be But Moikel, I larve you Moikel. #garfsnort

  2. I wish I knew famous people….

    I’m good with my other half going out to watch strippers. I know there’s a no-touching rule, and if he’s the type to get it on with someone else, I’ll find out eventually, and when I finish gasping like a stranded fish and get over it, his testicles will make his mum a nice pair of earrings. πŸ™‚

    However, I can’t really say much about the other half (when I’ve got one, the cats really aren’t interested in strip shows, they prefer a tin of whiskas and some milk) going to see shows… coz I recently went to see a movie featuring a male revue (plot wasn’t much, but the dancing was pretty good).

    The bestie and I are planning to go and see a live male revue soon too (let me know if you want to join us) so it’d be just a tad hypocritical of me to get upset.

    Now if he starts drooling and dribbling over my friends, or runs into a post because he’s staring at another woman while he’s with me… we’ll have Words. πŸ™‚

    … oh, and the beer in just undies thing is NEVER going to happen in my house… issues, you know. Lol.

    Hugs,
    Pauline

    • If those earrings ever eventuate, I want to see them on your mother-in-laws ears. πŸ™‚

  3. The visual of me serving beer in my undies just hurts my brain. I COULD do it with an amerry can accent though. πŸ™‚

    • I think we should start a foundation Maureen…. what do you reckon? πŸ™‚

  4. Hahah….very funny reading!! A few too many visuals maybe….#garfsnort

    • Cover those visuals in floating fabric. LOL

  5. I heart strippers. I haven’t been to see any since I got married, it was a promise to my wife. I’ve always enjoyed looking at girly bits and of course touching girly bits whether dancing provocatively on stage or on my lap. I think strippers rock.

    I used to see them as a nice respite from seeing the same woman naked day in/day out. And it meant I could get some jollies without cheating on my partner. At least, that was my value system back then.

    A month without lovin’ sounds like a throw away line to me Amanda, surely you would suffer as much as your man from this loss of connection time.

    It’s interesting that we question a mans need for visual stimulation at a time when Fifty Shades is the biggest hit in the western world from a literary point of view.

    • I haven’t read it yet Rod. I’m also joking on the month of no connection. My lovey isn’t wired like that, but that will not stop me teasing him to force him to acknowledge he’ll take the opportunity to go have a look, because he can πŸ™‚ He is not the groom, so the likelihood he will be the centre of attention will be nil. Here’s the thing though – and maybe I’m wired wrong. I get more joy out of looking at a well oiled torso with ripped guns than I would his jiggly bits?!

  6. Anonymous

    OMG, I cannot stop laughing. You have this way with words where you bring your points across in such a comical way but when you read between the lines you are really saying “don’t f&uck with me, or else….SNAP (ie snapping your fingers like a Diva and walking away)!!!”….thank you for the laugh….you are awesome!!!..Ian (Toronto)

    • Thank you Ian. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚

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