Why I am a bad mother... - Amanda Foy

Why I am a bad mother…

I know, negative self talk never does anyone any good and you just shove some form of ‘dis-ease’ somewhere in your body for a later date, so I might as well get this out in a public document to save myself the misery guts state of mind sitting with me for too much longer.

Take responsibility for your actions, thoughts and feelings….anyway, here goes.

I am a bad mother and I don’t cut it as the Tooth Fairy.

Second born pulled out his first big top tooth yesterday morning, much to his delight because it has been wobbly for weeks.  A friend made tooth-fairy pillows to hang on the doors all that time ago when first teeth started to wobble, so the tooth went in and hung on the handle of the tallboy.

Exit parents for the day to a 65 y.o’s birthday party.  That was not the exciting bit, it was that Mummy and Daddy would be in a car on our own without interruption for two hours.  There was food at the 65y.o birthday party, so that was just a BONUS! Oh, and cake.

I must have been stuck in the euphoric state that was us in the ‘good old days’ and completely forgot my role as parent.

Second born wakes up all blurry eyed and hair messed as I’m making lunches and says “Mummy, my tooth is still in the pillow”…rubbing his eyes trying to wake up and comprehend what the HELL is going on.

Enter guilt ridden, destructive self talk in said Mummy’s head.

Here’s my quandary.  When you carry out your duties on the imagination, child-like mindsets that perpetuate innocence, the ‘lie’ per se is an easy water off the ducks back ruse.  When you are neglectful in these duties, the ruse turns into Armageddon in a mother’s heart.

I sat with my child trying to work out why the Tooth Fairy didn’t come, because I think he’s just too young to have this illusion destroyed.  I remember when my Dad ‘flew’ into my room, when I was a child, I was devastated.  So with that firmly in my mind, I say “oh no, I wonder what happened?”

Then, please get the Excalibur sword and pierce my aorta now, he blamed himself because he pulled the tooth out, it didn’t fall out all on its own.  Sob.

That too is my fault, because he was fiddling with a tooth so much once, and his hands were dirty, I told him the Tooth Fairy didn’t come if you pulled it out.

Now grab that sword handle and bury it deeper, lean on it and turn it 90 degrees to the right….. I let him take the blame, but with a promise that I would contact the Tooth Fairy and sort it out.  So while I let him take the blame because of my NEGLECT of DUTY, I am now also going to be the Mummy that fixes everything and become the shining light of my childs day.

Sigh…please excuse me while I go and bleed out somewhere in a dark corner.

PS…click here to see the get out of ‘guilt’ free card I’m playing when I get home.


  1. Anonymous

    That’s very nearly happened to me. My oldest woke up and we’d forgotten to put a coin under his pillow… MaGiCaLly the tooth fairy appeared while he was talking to me and hubby went and slipped a $5 note under the pillow. We did the whole ‘are you sure you looked properly’ ‘did it fall behind the bed’ thing and my son’s face lit up like a christmas tree. it is a lie – but for us, its still the innocent magic of childhood dreams

  2. I am proud to call myself a white trash mother! ( ie I cut myself a lot of slack on things my mother would never have even dreamed of doing!!) My kids are all grwon and my “baby”flew the coop last year and I now have 7 (9 by the end of this year!!) grandbabies. We are human. We make @#$% ups and whateve works, works. Slap a big ole plaster on that war wound , take a deep breath and realise you will have an awesome story to tell him when he @#$% up with his kids ( and believe me he will, we all do!!). He is loved beyond measure and he knows it. xx

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