Why all men are arseholes PART TWO - Amanda Foy

Why all men are arseholes PART TWO

My partner at the Goddess Imperative Juli DuBois very kindly accepted my ‘help me’ plea with getting my head around the topic of discussion being bantered around at the moment.  The gifted soul that she is, she so eloquently provided this part two of the topic.  On our program we are working to get open and honest communication, remove the judgement, move into acceptance and make decisions on what is natural.    It is also timely in that yesterday I read in the Courier Mail this article about how Christian groups were treating homosexuality as a disease that is curable.  Click to read it here  This article sums up some mindsets around all versions of sexuality.

Please take a minute to read and re-read if you need to.

This blog post put me into such a place of “Wouldn’t it be nice…”, ala the Beach Boys.

Wouldn’t it be nice if human sexuality didn’t have so much pain, shame and blame surrounding it? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if our individual sexuality was of no more note then the color of our eyes, the shape of our lips, the color of our hair, our height and so on? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone realized that our individual sexuality was just as “natural” a part of how we were put together and born as our eye color? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be as authentic in our sexuality as we are in how we think – for most of us don’t freely share our thoughts with every Tom, Dick or Harry (nor does every Tom, Dick or Harry have the “right” to question every thought we have) and the privacy of our sexuality was respected to the same degree as our rights to our own thoughts? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if our children stopped killing themselves over the pain, blame and shame they feel over their sexuality and its lack of allowance and acceptance throughout the world? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if no one felt they had to live a lie (for them) of being heterosexual, instead of bisexual or homosexual, in order to have what they truly desire – a spouse and children? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if “cheating” became obsolete, because it was okay for one person to be able to be open and honest with another about their sexual preference for multiple partners – without that same person having to try and convince themselves that the ONLY successful relationships are monogamous? 
Wouldn’t it be nice if never again did a person who was bisexual, homosexual, non-monogamous have to read or hear about how the only “natural” relationship is a monogamous relationship between partners of the opposite sex? Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone had more tolerance for those who are different from them, allowing others to be exactly who they really are without judgment and condemnation? Wouldn’t it be nice if this is the time on this planet when we realize there is no “cookie cutter”, “one size fits all” sexuality for human beings who are as completely and totally individual as their fingerprints?
Wouldn’t it be nice if WE were the ones who transformed the pain, blame and shame surrounding sexuality -into allowance, acceptance and understanding? 

This mentality of a one size fits all sexuality has been around since the dawn of time. Just as has homosexuality, bisexuality and non-monogamous sexuality; Obviously it is not something that can be stamped out, beaten out, hung out, stoned out, ruled out, God-ed out, drowned out, ignored out – or in any other way be driven out of the human experience. 

If that were possible, with the price of being “different” sexually having been so high for so long, it would’ve happened already. Yet is hasn’t. If other forms of human sexuality, outside of the cookie cutter, one size fits all of monogamous heterosexuality, were in fact unnatural, wouldn’t it have been eliminated through centuries of deaths (stoning, hangings and being thrown in water to drown were common punishments for being found to have sex outside of marriage), dismemberments (in some countries homosexual or bisexual men were castrated if found out – (now… who of YOU know ANY man who’s willing to pay that kind of price for any behavior that is not of the utmost importance to him?!) and persecution? 

So, whose clueless now?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t remain clueless any longer?

Juli DuBois


  1. Dogma. I blame Dogma.

    If I become and dogmatically cling to the ideologies of Christianity do I open myself to the abundance of love that is available outside of this group.

    If I dogmatically adhere to Atheism as a belief system, can I accept the love of a Christian without viewing it suspiciously.

    If my child comes home and tells me she’s fallen in love for the first time. Do I hug her and share the joy of this very special time with her or do I sit back in judgement and make sure it’s someone that ticks MY boxes first.

    One day my children will have cause to reflect on their relationships with me. My greatest hope is that I have been not just a good role model but that I always showed them love, compassion and understanding.

    One day my children will find love and will probably have their hearts broken at least once. But it will never be by me.

    • Rodney,
      You are going to so totally rock so many people’s world with your take on stuff. Go forth and ‘conquer’ dude. You will be a part of the changing the world bigger picture my friend. Do it!!

    • Rodney, I could read your stuff all day! You are an eloquent writer. Lovin’ it.

  2. Thanks Juli for such great questions. Wouldn’t it be nice. So how do we all contribute to making this World that we dream of, a World of total and unwavering equality for all of mankind regardless. Well it’s done through you posting this, through the responses, through people shouting down the headlines in our newspapers when they say otherwise and show any support for intolerance, it’s through the discussion that yourself and Amanda have on The Goddess Imperative radio show and it’s through using our voices to open up the conversation and perhaps, change a listeners thinking. We must take a stand by speaking and writing our support and sharing our love. Thank you. Anne x

    • Thank you Anne. It is all we can do. We can speak up. Thank you for your ongoing support with your following and listening and speaking up too. x

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