Emotional Strength : A case study - Amanda Foy

Emotional Strength : A case study

You may recall my blog from a couple of weeks ago where I was going postal about this time of the year and how issues are always created when we need a hand with looking after our children so that we can attend functions. You can read it here if you want to get a quick catch up, because today’s case study is going to show you how The Emotional Strength Trainer got through what you can get through too. If this sounds impossible to you in your today, I invite you to come work with me, you can have what I have.

2014 has been a big year ~ incredibly defining for me as a woman, a mother, a wife, an entrepreneur, a business owner, a daughter.

Today I woke up with such an amazing sense of gratitude for who I am and my life and by standing in my truth, what I have brought into other people’s lives around me.  I need to share it with you in the hope that you too can see the possibilities for your life.

For much of my life I have felt unheard in very specific areas of my life. I teach that when you put yourself first, it is for everyone’s highest and greatest good. That is absolutely how it works, and I am living proof.

Let’s get to the facts. I love people. I love going into situations where there are new people, you can start up a conversation, learn, have a laugh and leave. It’s those moments in time where you get to be yourself with strangers and know that that small interaction may have created an impact that you’ll NEVER EVER hear about or know.

Friday night was the first event that I had to fight for in that blog up there you’ve just gone back and re-read. There is a company called RPQ – they supply to the company my husband works for. Every year they do something that includes wives. The man that owns the business is truly one of those business men who understands a bigger picture, who lives in total gratitude, and is generous beyond description. RPQ used to stand for Road Profiling Queensland and recently they changed it to Roads. People. Quality.

Yes.

So the event is 30 years in business. A celebration. A formal celebration.

I’m a woman, I like getting dressed up, having my hair done, putting make-up on. I have a healthy respect for myself without it, and when I do have it I always feel PWAR! I like going to effort, planning an outfit, the shoes, the suck-me-in undies, the jewellry, the smooth legs, covering up the marks on my skin and making my eyes look large and brown. I love it. I love how I feel when I do this. I love how I look.

Me: You get to wear your suit!
Husband: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, it says formal and dinner jacket
Husband: Does that include a tie?
Me: Yes

Getting ready as he’s putting on his suit and I’ve recommended the yellow tie, having a thought about a man I connected with on Twitter who specialises in teaching men how to tie arty-farty knots, Patrick in Victoria Canada, who once asked me of a knot I shared with him, if it was my husband’s tie and I did that little snort sound with ‘nuh’ at my phone, but typed “husband=tie=special occasion” followed by the hashtag #scienceofthetie….

So husband then says to me “if we get there and everyone is in jeans, I’m going to look like a dick…”

Wife = unheard = “you’ll just have to trust me that I know these things…” said in that way you do when you are putting mascara on and you need to tilt your head in that funny angle to get your eyelashes to stick out to goop them. In my head I’m thinking that if you would just trust what I’m saying, I’ve taken you to lots of formal functions since we’ve been a couple, how much stress do you want to have in your life?

Did you hear that internal dialogue then? Not once did I take responsibility for his inability to hear me and trust what I was saying, I just questioned what level of stress he was prepared to put himself under over a dress code.

We get to the function and he audibly relaxes when he sees that he isn’t standing out like a red spot on a white shirt. He also realised the energy around the function, it was formal, it was brilliant being around 200 other people who’d gone to a lot of effort to look lovely.

You see, I have no issue with ‘fame’ – I like being the one on the stage speaking, teaching and influencing, my plan for my lifetime is to be the Australian voice around emotional trauma being the foundation of all illness. I’ve always gravitated to that in my life. My lovey on the other hand is a silent achiever. He will not put himself “out there”. So it isn’t something for me to take personally when he’s saying “please don’t be famous” in not so few words when he knows that I am on track for that, and then his story kicks in and thinks I am tricking him and going to make him stand out like me when we go into a public setting.

Did I mention it was the first time we’d been out together as a couple on our own this year to anything – yeah November – note to self – he’ll turn into a social agoraphobic if I’m not careful in 2015….

#LESSON ONE MESSAGE: Opposites can co-exist in a relationship when one does not allow the other’s story to become theirs and there is no expectation for that other person to even try to understand that. 

My rewards didn’t stop there though, there was a live band. It was Ross Wilson. My favourite all time musician. He has done a couple of shows for me back in the day when I was in corporate roles. I went to say hello, it’d been six years since we’d seen each other, and he remembered me and was really comfortable sharing news about his family and life and he even said “your hair is different”. {I know right?! Quality human}

The rewards kept coming, we are then at one of the VIP tables. I had a rose, and a compact with 30 years on it as a thank you for coming. I had a clear view of the dance floor. I got to sit next to the company EA and enjoyed a fabulous night of chatting and the meal. She’d done an amazing job, and I knew how she felt, it’s those moments where you put everything together and then everyone has a good time. It’s lovely.

Then the speeches. Tony Wehl: he toasts all the women in the room for being so beautiful. He is very much aligned with family and what sacrifices are made when you lead an entrepreneurs lives. I learned what it looks like, sounds like, feels like when a man in an influential role, a man providing the livelihoods of hundred’s of people steps into his truth by knowing that the women in his life, and the women in his predominantly male workforce life may have come second on more than one occasion and he wanted to acknowledge that.

Quality human.

Even the cabbie that took us in on Friday night, gave me a wave as he drove off after dropping us at the venue. I’ve never had a cabbie do that to me E V E R. Quality human.

So you see, when I say my affirmation “I only attract people who love and accept me for who I am and are on the same path as me” that shows up in a cabbie who waves to me when he has to drive off to his next fare, a husband who pushes through his fear of being tricked into wearing a suit and tie, a CEO of a business that builds runways for my husband’s employer telling me I am beautiful in so many different ways and I’m worth it, an Australia Rock Legend who remembers my hair style, a woman who is an event planner, a mum, and adored by her colleagues putting me in a seat that gave me full view of my favourite musician and let me share some memories of my happiest days in the corporate world, the alternate drop menu landing with all my favourite flavours, and a mother-in-law who took our children for the evening so we could stay out really late.

Being a quality human attracts quality humans, and sometimes, one of those qualities is saying what you want to one person, and then let the ripples roll.

Much love
Amanda

4 Comments

  1. Woohoo!! Glad you had a good night, Bop Girl.

    • Feet are still sore from boogie-ing Pauline! 🙂

  2. Ro

    Great story & such a real reminder to be/get & stay in that mindset. xxRoz

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